She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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