also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
