Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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