weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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