He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
