So drunk its hurt
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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