i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
