Swine flu. Run for my life!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
