You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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