They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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