In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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