I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
