K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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