based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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