Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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