I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
