2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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