just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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