And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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