I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Shame - the story of my life.
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