batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize