Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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