I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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