Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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