I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize