? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
