Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
