wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
