were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
