What a fucking waste of an outfit
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
