so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
