butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
