he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
