I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
