Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
