He disabled his match.com account in front of me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
