this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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