I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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