Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
