Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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