Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
