He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
