I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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