Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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