The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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