I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
