i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
