All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
