I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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