SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
