That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
