Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My first STD was from a foam party
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
