He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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