I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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