i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
