just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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