Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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