Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
