I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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