things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
