She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
