okay pat passed out under dana's car
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize