life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
