it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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