Dual....:-)
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My vagina is officially offended.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
