If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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