Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
