Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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